Paw-lov's Theory
by RicardianScholar Clark-Weasley
Summary: Ladybug decided to try and condition Chat Noir out of pun habit with kisses! Chat Noir, however, turns the table on her and now Ladybug can't resist kissing him whenever he puns. Whether or not he's wearing the mask.


It started randomly on one night patrol.

Chat Noir was being particularly irritating that evening as he shot off with one pun after another with that smug, Cheshire cat, grin plastered all over his face. Ladybug was ninety five percent certain that he was doing this just to wind her up.

"Am I _bugging_ you, My Lady?" he smirked. Okay, she was now a hundred percent certain that he was being a pain. "Surely not. I've been nothing but _paws_ tively witty tonight."

Ladybug groaned loudly. "Chat," she said sternly as possible, "I'm tired, I'm cold, and I'm cranky. Knock it off with the puns or I'll knock you off the roof."

"There's no need for that, Bugaboo, I'm already _falling_ for you," Ladybug groaned, "what's the _paw_ -blem, My Lady? Am I finally _crawling_ under your skin?"

" _Gah_!" Ladybug cringed. "Never use that one again, do I make myself clear?"

" _Purr_ -fe-"

She acted purely on instinct and couldn't for the life of her explain why she did it other than that she was truly desperate to shut Chat Noir up. And what better way was there to silence a Kitty than with a quick peck on the lips?

Especially when it left Chat Noir so stunned that he froze right there on the roof top as he numbly touched his lips. He blinked dumbly as his cheeks rapidly turned bright pink.

"There!" Ladybug nodded with satisfaction. "Much better."

They then finished the rest of the patrol in peaceful silence and Ladybug didn't give much thought to it.

And then it happened a second time.

This time it was during an Akuma attack which was unfortunately a spider themed one. It was taking Ladybug all of her strength and courage to not turn around and run away as fast as she could (but by God she was going to have nightmares for _weeks_ about this!) and having Chat Noir drop spider puns by the second was not helping her think things through.

" _Chat!_ " she hissed through gritted teeth. "Could you please quit the puns? I'm trying to concentrate."

"No need to _bug out_ , My Lady," Chat smirked, "we'll survive this one like we have before and eventually make it to our _web_ ding da – _Hmmph_!"

She grabbed him by his bell and smacked her lips against his. It was a short, fierce, kiss as she poured her aggression into it. When she pulled away he stared at with wide, stunned, eyes as his cheeks hastily turned a bright pink.

"Much better," she nodded, "now let's kick this Akuma's butt."

They defeated the Akuma in half the time they normally would as Chat Noir was too stunned and silent to do anything else but actually _fight_ the Akuma.

It was then when Ladybug made it home in time to transform back into Marinette that she remembered their most recent science class. They briefly covered some aspects of psychology that meets biology, a sort of taster for what sort of classes they could take in their higher education, and they had discussed classical conditioning and Pavlov's theory.

In two incidences a kiss from Ladybug and stopped Chat Noir from making puns so with that in mind Marinette had no doubt she could condition Chat out of that annoying habit by kissing him every time he tried to make a pun.

"It's perfect!" Marinette exclaimed after she explained hr train of thought to Tiki. "It'll take some time and effort but I can guarantee by the end of the year Chat Noir will be pun-free."

"Hmm…." Tiki said a little more sceptically, "are you sure _kissing i_ s the answer? I thought if you wanted someone to stop something you'd make them associate it with a bad thing."

"My kisses _are_ bad!" Marinette pointed out. "He obviously doesn't like them he looks so horrified and doesn't respond at all." Because why else would he look so wide-eyed and pink whenever her lips touched his? He obviously wished he could scrub his mouth right there and then but was too nice to do so. "So eventually he'll stop it so he can avoid being kissed."

"If you say so," Tiki said dubiously, "but I don't think you have _quite_ grasp the concept of classical conditioning Marinette."

"I did really well on that homework!" Marinette protested. She did way better than she did in her physics module and wished all science was as easy at classical conditioning. "I think I know what I'm doing and what I'm doing to curing Chat Noir from these silly puns once and for all!"

"Hmmm…" Tiki hummed. "You say that but I happen to know you actually find a lot of Chat Noir's puns rather funny."

Marinette spluttered at that.

Her denials were duly ignored as Tiki found the chocolate chip cookies far more interesting.

MLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLB

Chat Noir has noticed a rather strange and wonderful pattern occurring in his daily life.

Every time he made a pun Ladybug would kiss him.

It didn't matter if it was a very clever one or a really bad one that he came up with desperately in an attempt to look funny and witty, she kissed him anyway and when he stood there, dumbstruck and silent at the wonderful tingle on his lips and the fireworks exploding beneath his skin, she would nod smug and satisfied.

Since he was pretty sure they weren't in a relationship (he was sure he would remember _that_ conversation) and the last time he checked Ladybug was still resisting his advances, he came to the conclusion that there was something else going on and was determined to confront his Lady about it.

"Good evening, My Lady!" he called out on one Night Patrol. "And how are you on this _feline_ evening?"

He barely got the question out when Ladybug suddenly swooped down and planted a soft, quick, and tragically chaste kiss on his lips. For a moment his brain short-circuited and he forgot entirely about the whole confronting Ladybug about kissing him thing as he numbly reached out to trace his lips.

Ladybug nodded with her usual smug satisfaction and immediately he snapped out of his daze.

" _What was that all about_?!"

"What was what all about?" Ladybug replied innocently.

"The _kissing!_ " Chat Noir hissed as he felt an embarrassing pink flush spread along his neck then up and onto his face. "You have been kissing me every time I make a pun!" he accused her. " _Why_?!"

There is a moment of silence as Ladybug nibbled on her bottom lip hesitatingly. He resisted the urge to snatch her up and nibble that lip for her because if he did he would never get his answer. "Well," she mumbled as her cheeks turned bright pink, "I suppose it would be unethical if I didn't tell you…you see…." She took in a deep breath. "Have you ever heard of Pavlov's theory of classical conditioning?"

There is a beat of silence.

"….My Lady," Chat said slowly and disbelievingly, "are you telling me that you're trying to condition me out of using puns?"

"Well!" Ladybug huffed defensively. "Can you blame me?"

Erm….yes?

Seeing as it was her idea and the fact she was actually doing it and also he was pretty sure she didn't quite grasp the concept of conditioning a person….but he did. And he knew she was going about it the wrong way.

And also there was nothing wrong with his puns!

They were _purr_ -fectly _paw_ some.

"Of course I can!" he burst out. "There's nothing wrong with my puns to warrant such _**pun**_ ishment!" he was rewarded with another kiss. "I am a _purr-_ fectly witty kitty." Another quick peck. "But don't you worry Bugaboo, I _fur_ give you."

Another kiss that was meant to be a fleeting and light as the previous two but this time he kissed back. Not for too long so she would realise what he was doing but long another to feel her lips more firmly against hers and to taste the sugary sweetness of them properly.

Night Patrol continues as normal after that and after they said their goodbyes and went their separate ways, Chat Noir hurried home as quickly as possible and grinned manically as his transformation wore off. It was the first time in a long time that he actually arrived home in such good spirits.

"Urgh!" Plagg groaned disgusted. "Now you two are _never_ going to stop kissing!"

"I know!" Adrien said utterly thrilled. "Brilliant, right?" Plagg shot him a disgruntled look over his shoulder that screamed ' _no, no it is not brilliant!_ ' but Adrien was too happy to care what Plagg actually thought of this situation. "I just…..I can't believe that she thinks _kissing_ me is going to _stop_ the puns."

As if he was ever going to stop _now._

"I can," Plagg said as he finally found his cheese, "kissing is disgusting and horrible and all sorts of nasty. You know you people swap saliva, right?"

"I don't think you can talk," Adrien said haughtily, "I've seen what you do to cheese," and will always have nightmares of it. Who on earth murmurs sweet nothings to _cheese_ of all things?! Plagg, of course. "but what I meant," he continued hastily before Plagg started a rant on how cheese was worth it, "is that if she wanted me to stop punning she should have found either a negative reinforcement or a neutral stimulus for me to associate not punning too. Kissing me is a _reward._ She's got to realise that I'm going to keep punning, right?"

" _Pfft_!" Plagg snorted. "Unlikely. Tiki's chosen get so full of themselves when they think they're being clever. Their pride tends to blind them to the flaws of their plans. That's what you're here for. To see those flaws and make up for them." Plagg bite into his cheese and chewed thoughtfully as he eyed Adrien with suspicion. "But something tell me," he said as he swallowed, "that you're not going to what you're supposed to but rather take advantage of this stupid plot."

"Well," Adrien smiled sheepishly, "can you blame me?"

"Not all," Plagg's eyes shimmered in amusement and mirth, "in fact," he smirked, "I'd say this is the first time I've been truly proud of ya, Kid."

Adrien would be insulted but he was too chuffed at his cleverness and Plagg's lack of disapproval of his plan to care.

Ladybug thought she was going to condition him into not using puns but little did she know he was going to turn the tables on her.

He was going to condition her into _kissing him_ with his puns.

And hopefully by the time he had finished his Lady will be kissing him because she wanted to.

MLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLB

It's been months since Marinette started on her whole conditioning Chat Noir into not punning and she had yet to see it actually take effect.

She was certain that her Kitty was just being stubborn.

Well _tough_! Chat Noir might be stubborn but she was more stubborn and determined than he could ever hope to be and she will win this battle. Even if it takes years, she will see this through.

And she had to admit that Chat Noir was a very good kiss-

 _No!_ She shook her head firmly. _**Bad**_ _Marinette!_

She wasn't going to go there. The kissing was just part of the behavioural conditioning, it wasn't _romantic_. No matter how many times his lips made her tingle or how it felt like butterflies were trying to escape in her stomach or that she now occasionally dreamed of Chat Noir instead of Adrien nowadays.

"Girl!" Alya suddenly snapped her fingers in Marinette's face. Marinette jumped back and clutched her chest as she felt her heart almost give out from fright. "Are you _listening_ to me?! Obviously not," Alya answered herself as Marinette laughed sheepishly and avoided all eye contact. "I was just saying," Alya said with exaggerated exasperation, "that I want to be the journalist that gets the confirmation that Ladybug and Chat Noir are a couple."

Marinette choked on her own spit at that.

" _What_?!" she squeaked out. "No they're not!"

"Erm," Alya replied tartly, "yes _they are_!" she shoved her phone under Marinette's nose to reveal picture after picture of Ladybug and Chat Noir in various embraces. Marinette's cheeks burned in humiliation as she realised how risqué some of their kisses looked from an outsider's perspective. " _See_!" Alya exclaimed in satisfaction. "You don't kiss like that unless you're a couple!"

" _But she's just conditioning him out of her puns_!" Marinette cried out. "I heard them talking on my roof one night!" she added hastily as she realised that she kinda just spilt Ladynoir knowledge that she shouldn't know since she was Marinette and not Ladybug currently. "Ladybug said that she was only kissing Chat whenever he punned so she could condition him out of the habit."

Alya snorted.

"What?!" Marinette asked crossly. "It's _true_!"

"Oh," Alya said flippantly, "I have no doubt you heard that, you're not a liar," Marinette squirmed guiltily because she so was a liar. And the worst kind. She lied so much now that she was sure her tongue was going to fall out of her mouth black with the rot from her lies. "But you're my best friend and Ladybug knows that, she obviously set the conversation up so she could try and put me off of the story!"

" _What makes you say that_?!" Marinette squeaked. "It could be true!"

"Sweetie," Alya grinned, "there is no way anyone could be that unbelievably stupid to try and condition Chat Noir out of puns with kisses. Especially Ladybug."

Marinette shifted sheepishly because apparently she was that unbelievably stupid. "It's not _stupid!_ " she protested. "We did Pavlov in science a while back, remember? Conditioning _works_! It's been proven!"

"Oh Marinette, Marinette," Alya said rather patronisingly as she hugged Marinette, "you're so sweet, and innocent, and naïve. Never change." Marinette grumbled at that. Somehow sweet, innocent, and naïve felt like an insult. "If you paid attention to that science class," Alya said as she pulled back with a manic grin on her face, "then you would know that a neutral stimulus is required for conditioning or negative reinforcement if you're trying to get someone out of a habit."

"K-k-kissing could be a negative reinforcement!" Marinette stammered out. Was it just her or was it suddenly hot in her bedroom? Her palms were sweating. Were her palms sweaty? Her palms were definitely sweating. "He might not like kissing Ladybug."

" _Pfft_!" Alya snorted. " _Purr_ -lease!" she punned and Marinette twitched. "Everyone and their mother knows that Chat Noir is madly in love with Ladybug." Marinette choked on her saliva again at that. "Kissing is definitely a reward. If there was any conditioning going on then it's Ladybug being conditioned by Chat Noir into kissing him with his puns."

Marinette's eyes widened in realisation.

Every time Chat Noir punned….she kissed him.

 _Every single time!_

Akuma battles, Night Patrols, during interviews, and there had been one incident when Chat Noir rescued Marinette a couple weeks back and made this stupid pun about princesses and _she had to practically physically restrain herself from grabbing his face and smashing her lips against his_!

And when she thought about, really, really, thought about it, what used to be quick pecks to stun him into silence had turned into long, lingering, kisses as he would press his lips back against hers firmly and lead her lips into what had become a familiar dance. They even use _tongues_ now! Some of Alya's photos weren't of them kissing but well and truly _snogging._

 _How the hell did she not notice this?!_

 _But wait!_ Her brain saved her from a complete meltdown. _Alya had just punned and I haven't kissed her!_

 _Ah!_ The nasty logical voice in the back of her mind replied. _But she didn't say it in Chat Noir's voice did she? Perhaps you're conditioned to respond to puns in his voice only._

"…Tiki," Marinette gulped, after Alya left for babysitting duty, "I think I'm in trouble."

MLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLB

Ladybug was as twitchy as a bug (see what he did there?) when they met up for Night Patrol that evening. It would be a cause of concern if it didn't get him the perfect opening to continue with his classical conditioning plan.

"What's the matter, My Lady?" he smirked. "Is something _bugging_ you?"

Ladybug flinched at that as her hands instinctively reached out to grab him but she immediately pulled back and bit down hard on her bottom lip. " _No!"_ she squeaked out as her cheeks turned a dusty rose pink. "Nothing is the matter! Nothing is bugging me!"

"Oh come on, Bugaboo!" he pleaded. "Let's sit down and have a _chat,_ " she flinched again and curled her hands into fists as she pinned her arms against her side, "I'm _all ears_ ," he gestured to his normal and cat ears to emphasis his point. She twitched in reply. "Whenever you're ready to tell me," He continued with false innocence, "I'm _ear fur_ you."

The double whammy pun actually made her squeak as she staggered backwards. "N-n-no!" she stammered out. "I-I-I-I'm f-f-f-fine!"

"Are you sure?" he asked worriedly. " _Purr_ -haps you're cold?" he suggested as she flinched at the pun. "Come a little closer and I can warm you up. I am, after all, all _fur_ you."

He could virtually hear Ladybug's self-restraint snap before she suddenly flung her arms around his neck and their lips met with a resounding smack. It was an angry kiss but seeing as she had finally figured out what was going on Chat wasn't surprised at all as he let her take control and punish his lips with a fierce bite that made him moan a little with happiness.

"You…you….you dastardly," she choked out as her cheeks turned red with embarrassment and fury. "Sneaky, sly, cunning, cat!"

"I hardly think you could talk," he murmured blissfully, "you started all of this. I just took advantage of the op- _purr_ \- tunity."

She groaned but kissed him all the same. It was a much sweeter, softer, kiss and he suspected, deep down, she had already forgiven him. "This could have backfired on you," she said sternly, "I could have ended up kissing anyone that punned."

His eyes widened in alarm at that. "You don't," he cried out worriedly, " _do you_?!"

"No," she admitted, and he immediately slumped and sighed in relief at that. It would be rather horrifying if it turned out he conditioned her to kiss just anyone. "My best friend, my Dad, and my Kwami have all punned in front of me and I have, thankfully, not suddenly tackled them for a kiss. It looks like I only react to puns in your voice."

He grinned, utterly delighted at the new, and was just about to make another pun when another idea hit him out of the blue.

She only reacted to puns in his voice.

 _In his_ _ **voice!**_

Not from Chat Noir, black leather suit, cat ears, and superpowers of destruction, but his _voice._ One of the things that remained with him when he was a civilian! Which meant if he punned as his civilian self then she would react and kiss him. As her civilian self.

He grin turned into a smirk.

Ladybug's eyes widened in realisation as she followed his train of thought without him so much as speaking a word. (As if he needed any further proof that they were made for one another.) "No!" she said sternly. " _No!_ Don't you dare!"

"But My Lady!" he protested. "We have become so intimate these last few months that this is the next step. Now excuse me," he kissed her hand, "I have a cat trap to set up."

She spluttered but she kissed him anyway…on the nose, in a sweet, almost loving, gesture despite her annoyance at having the tables turned on her and that he was now going to purposely trick her civilian identity out of her.

He grinned, utterly delighted, as she reluctantly smiled back in fondness.

Then she suddenly realised what he was going to do and shook her head rapidly to snap out of it. "Wait!" she called out but it was too late, he already jumped off the roof.

He had to start planning some puns if he wanted to catch his bug.

MLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLB

Marinette tried to remain calm.

After all there is no guarantee that she actually _knew_ Chat Noir's civilian identity. Paris was a big city, right? He could live on the other side of town. He could go to a totally different school. Perhaps he was a shut in socially and spent all his time playing online games while he made ridiculous puns and she would never pass him by on the street randomly. There was just no chance, no way, that she could bump into his civilian self while he made a pun. The odds were against this…..right?

Unfortunately her luck thought differently of these odds.

Because first thing, the very next day, as she headed to class she heard a familiar voice talk to Nino ( _of all people_!) as he made pun after pun after pun.

" _Dude_!" Nino moaned. "That's was awful."

"Surely," Chat smirked, she could tell, he was using his smirk-y voice. She could just hear the smugness oozing out of him. "You mean _paw_ ful."

She twitched.

" _Dude_!"

"What?" Chat asked innocently. "It was _pun_ ny!"

She stifled a groan as she tried to keep walking ahead and not turn round and see him. There was a reason why they were keeping their identities a secret. There was a reason….there was…. _she just couldn't remember_!

" _Dude_!" Nino groaned. "You're getting worse and worse."

"Perhaps I should be _pun_ ished."

Marinette faltered to a stop unable to carry on and ignore Chat's stupid, ridiculous, puns. It didn't matter that he was totally doing it on purpose. It didn't matter that she should run away before she gave into her new instinct to kiss him, right now she could barely move because she was fighting for every iota of her self-control….and was failing. She _really wanted_ to _kiss him_.

"In fact," Chat Noir continued, "I should go to the _pun_ itentiary and received my _pun_ ishment until I am either a _pun_ sioner or _pun-_ "

She couldn't take it anymore.

She snapped.

Without giving it a second thought she whirled round, grabbed Chat Noir by the collar of his shirt, and hauled him in before she slammed her lips against his. It was a brief furious kiss that only stopped when she felt his self-satisfied, irritating, smirk against her lips.

She had fallen for his ploy, hook, line, and sinker.

And he the smug git absolutely loved it.

 _Goddamnit!_

"Those puns weren't even funny, you stupid cat!" she snapped as she pulled away. "You could have at least tried to – _Meep_!" she squeaked as soon as she realised she was looking into Adrien's Agreste's amused face.

His beautiful green eyes were sparkling with mirth, mischief, and satisfaction as well (dare she say it?) awe and adoration. His mouth was stretched into an unfamiliar, smug, cheeky grin that was also achingly familiar to her. There was no doubt about it that this was Chat Noir.

That she had just kissed her crush.

Marinette released his shirt collar and hastily staggered back but she didn't succeed in escaping as Adrian's hands suddenly clasped her waist and pulled her close. "Look at this," he murmured, utterly delighted and unaware of the heart attack he was currently causing her to suffer, "I've caught myself a _purr_ -fectly, _purr_ ty, _Purr_ incess," he drawled out.

She groaned before she slipped onto her tip toes and pressed her lips against his. It was a sweeter, softer, kiss as he suckled her bottom lip just the ways she liked it. As he knew because he had totally taken advantage of her stupidity these last few months! She sighed into the kiss and melted into his warm embrace until the need to breath pulled them apart.

"I…you….ah…" Marinette stammered as she tried to form a coherent sentence. _Come on!_ She yelled at herself silently. _This is Chat Noir! Your partner and best friend! You can talk to him!_ "You….gah….urgh…. _mpfl_!"

"What's the matter, Princess?" Adrien smirked, " _cat got your tongue_?"

She was glad to say that she didn't completely break down into an incoherent mess or give in and kiss him for the pun but instead she managed to stand her ground and gather her wits to tilt her head up in Ladybug defiance. "Not yet," she said flirtatiously.

She was also pleased to say that Adrien took her up on her invitation and tugged her back into another kiss in which he pulled her tongue into his mouth. She happily moaned into the kiss as she explored every inch of his mouth. His warm hand left a blazing trail against her back as he glided it up to cup the back of her head, tilting it slightly to deepen the kiss even further if that was even possible, and she responded in kind as her fingers tangled into his hair.

It was wonderful, absolutely perfect, everything she could imagine and mo-

"Dudes!" Nino complained. " _I'm still here_!"

He was duly ignored.


End file.
